check this shit out, yo!

It is now 2010, and I am with cold. So to start off the new year, I’ll do what I do best: have a big old bitch about something fairly inconsequential.

A big problem I have with a lot of cafes in Perth is that I don’t really appreciate being treated like a total r-tard. There are some places that I quite like and I’ve gone to enough to have developed a rapport with staff there (like Tiger Tiger, but some staff there are still kind of rude), but my totally huge problem is with Greens & Co. on Oxford St. For reals, I can’t stand that place, but I somehow find myself there all the time.

Now, I’ll forget for a moment the heinously bright lighting (seriously, if you have that many lamps you don’t need harsh fluorescent lighting as well), the abundance of tvs with the sound turned off (who the hell goes to a cafe to watch a muted tv?), the waaaay too cramped seating (how many people exactly are you trying to fit in? There are just too many tables. And the couches are too far apart! So if you’re at a table you’re like banging elbows with the table next to you but if you’re at a couch you have to yell across the coffee table because the music is too loud and the couches too far apart), the really lame concert posters (they’re going for the whole “cool indie music vibe” but they’ve got Veronicas posters? um wot? And from memory any music they’ve played has been too loud and kind of lame), the shitty pool tables, and that there doesn’t seem to be any kind of menu or price list and a really small selection of food that isn’t cake.

LET US FORGET THAT FOR A MOMENT. Even if I could forget the loud, annoying music and harsh lighting and stupid tvs, I can’t get over the fact that the people that work there are SO. FREAKING. RUDE. I don’t even know what it is, I’m sure these people aren’t total dicks all the time. They can’t be, no-one can be like that all the time without combusting from angst. In the years that I’ve been going there, I’ve been served by a friendly person once. I’ve mentioned this before in my huge rants: I work in a cafe, and have done for many years. I hate customers sometimes, too! A lot! But I’m still freaking polite! Even if customers are total douchebags, you just smile and get over it. And that’s if customers are total douchebags, I’m freaking POLITE! Since working in a cafe I have become the most darned polite and friendly customer ever because I like serving polite and friendly customers myself, and not total douchebags. So when I order my goddarn flat white, I expect to be treated civilly AT WORST. I don’t appreciate this shit!

Earlier this year I went there with my brother to play some pool. Now, we’re not a fussy pair. So he goes off to get the coffees, and I snag a pool table, COOL. We’re set. We pick up the pool cues and give them a roll on the table only to discover they’re bent. Like, really bent. Like, I’m reminded of the cars in South Park when they make fun of Canadians. That’s okay! It’s not a pool hall. Even though they still charge the same per game as anywhere else with much better tables, we’ll deal. We’re not fussy! Oh. Hmm. There’s no chalk. That kind of sucks, but whatever. Then we look at the table itself. Not fantastic, really. I mean, there’s kind of holes in the felt (when I say kind of, I mean there’s actually holes in the felt). WE’LL DEAL. So we have our coffees there, and we have them on the side of the pool table cause they haven’t provided any table tables. So, you know, they should probably expect that people are going to do that, right? This waiter comes up to us and spits at us not to put our coffees on the table, because they’ll spill and we’d have to replace the felt. Right. The shitty ripped felt. So we reply: “Uh, where should we put them? There’s no tables…”, and he says, WAIT FOR IT, that we can put them on the floor “or something”. NICE ONE. And the fact he had a French accent just made it sound so much ruder.

The same attitude is true to a lesser extent across the road at Oxford 130. Now, I don’t dislike 130 as much as I horrendously dislike Greens, and this is most because it is 1. smaller, 2. they tend to play better music and 3. the decor isn’t as lame and they don’t have a billion fluorescent lights in my face and flashing tv screens. Also they do cooked breakfasts where you can add a bunch of whatever you want (eg poached eggs on toast with sundried tomatoes and feta). And I guess the staff aren’t as bad as at Greens, even though I’m pretty sure they’re the same people, or at least hired by the same people? (I’m pretty sure the owners of 130 bought Greens off the original owners a bunch of years back? I might be mistaken.) Where the staff at Greens treat you with contempt rivalling the staff at the Moon (don’t even get me started on the Moon! There was a brief period this year where the staff there turned kiiiind of polite, or at least nice enough, but things seem to have returned to the rude norm of late), the staff at 130 have more of a kind of contemptuous indifference. And this is less consistent, occasionally there will be a half smile or something edging towards courtesy. Kind of.

I mean, I went in on Boxing Day when I was staaaaarved and nowhere seemed to be serving food, and my friend knew the girl working there. So they had a chat while I perused the menu. After I’d discussed at great length with another guy we were with what I was going to get, and had stood right in front of her for ages with a menu, eventually she spits out “We’re not serving food, we’re closing in like, half an hour!” as if i was a TOTAL R-TARD for thinking that somewhere that’s usually open pretty late might make me a goddamn sandwich! I mean fair enough, it’s Boxing Day, close early, do whatever, but for fuck’s sake have some courtesy! Every single shift I have to tell people that our kitchen is closed or we don’t have something on the menu, the least I can do is say “I’m really sorry, we don’t have that, but we do have this!” Or if the kitchen is closed, directing someone towards some food! I mean jeez, Louise! And this is how they treat someone who is fairly obviously a friend of a friend. Like, I’m there with your friend, maybe don’t act like a bitch?

Anyway, I’m pretty sick and tired of some of the service at cafes in Perth. I can’t speak for more restauranty places because, let’s face it, I’m poor, but from what I hear the general consensus is that that service sucks balls too. I don’t understand it! People in Perth tend to not be total douchebags! Why is it that as soon as they stand behind a counter they turn into total assfaces? Je ne comprends pas.

What totally douchey experiences have you had, and where?

-Sally

What the hell? It’s Christmas already (for the last forty minutes)?? How the shit did that happen?
Christmas has crept up on me this year, I hope you all are a little more prepared.

Much Christmas love to everyone!

PS how badass is this Coca-Cola Santa with his badass whip and his (totally rum and) coke?

-Sally

I have been so inspired to redecorate by so many design and general pretty things blogs lately…go have a look at these if you want to ogle some chairs and light fittings: Design Crisis, Hashai, Atlantis Home, Style Files, and of course The Selby (which always succeeds to make me really rather depressed, to be honest.)

Anyway, these are the things which I am into right now:
Rorschach tests

I enjoy the sinister undertones! I also like the ones you see around the place with the kind of olive toned watercolours… they kind of exude this 70s-ness (at least to me) with the colours and the abstractness of the paintings and the whole therapy context… perhaps I am reading a little too much into this. Perhaps I see a skull! PERHAPS I AM MAD.

Julien Pacaud illustrations

Mark Mawson photography

Sciolari light fittings

An array of taxidermy stuff

The taxidermy stuff is kind of weird though, because I’ve been a vegetarian for years and find it kind of gross, but I have a weird fascination for stuffed birds and antlers I guess. Probably my main problem is with gratuitous hunting and all that, like displaying some poor elk’s head that you’ve shot for no reason. Boo to that. But I was dangerously close to buying a gigantic stuffed peacock on ebay tonight… luckily I resisted. Also I didn’t have enough money, but that is another matter.

Soviet propaganda posters

It’s cool cause I do (kind of) have a Soviet propaganda poster in my room already… me and my mum made a poster (based on one we found on the internets) and cut out a face hole for me to wear to a Communism themed party… it is pretty rad (totally tooting my own horn, don’t even care).

In response to this burst of inspiration I’ve been doing a little bit of cleaning and shuffling around, but I am itching to do something a little more substantial. I’ve had my bed since I first had a bed (ie, it is the only bed I have ever had) and while it is okay, I am a little sick of it. It is also a little pretty princess-y, which I may have loved when I was 7, but I think I have outgrown it a little. At the moment I’ve tried to tone it down by having really plain bedding but I think a change is in order. I was sorely tempted to buy myself a new queen bed but unfortunately I have basically no money and my room is packed full of crap as it is. WHAT I AM THINKING IS: would it be a totally retarded idea to buy a super duper simple headboard-less bedframe (still single unfortunately, I cannot magic up more room) from Ikea or whatever, and then perhaps MAKE a headboard for myself (I am thinking just a bit of MDF or something, then I can just staple gun some lovely fabric onto it…)? IS THIS PURE INSANITY? I think not.

In other news, I totally stacked it when I climbed on top of a stool in my pantry (I was getting a serving platter down for my mum..) and to be honest it wasn’t really all that fun. Hello, bruised legs.

-Sally

So last week I had a dream that I was hanging out and basically having a tea party with Susie Lau of StyleBubble and Scott Schuman of The Sartorialist. Pretty much, in this dream me and Susie Bubble were besties and she was like “hey my buddy SCOTT here is gonna hang out with us” and I was all “HEY SUSIE THAT IS O-KAY” then Scott Schuman took my picture and I was like “ooooooh the sartorialist just took my picture! soooo raaaad” then I was at a party with my parents but me and my brother’s ex girlfriend had to leave early to meet my friend because we were going to be late to a Michael Bublé concert.

Interpretations, anyone?

-Sally

Wes Anderson acted out all the scenes from Fantastic Mr. Fox before they animated it! Wes Anderson, you are just too much. Your cuteness destroys me.

I found this video on crapwelike
-Sally

WHAT WHAT

-Sally

Art director Albert Exergian has made some pretty rad minimalist posters for tv shows:

Check out his (rad) website over here.

-Sally

Okay, so I’m just going to get it out there: I kind of love Twilight. A bit. A lot. In the way that I realise that it is a shitty bunch of books written by a ridiculous Mormon housewife, BUT, also, Edward is dreamy and it is ridiculously addictive. It is out in the open! I can be free. Now, this is also a little embarrassing, but I went to one of the midnight screenings on Wednesday night. Don’t judge. What the whole point of my rambling is: the soundtrack is pretty darn amazing. The first one was kind of okay because I love 15 Step and Iron and Wine are pretty great. But this one is freaking rad. Here’s the track list:

1. Death Cab For Cutie – “Meet Me On The Equinox”
2. Band Of Skulls – “Friends”
3. Thom Yorke – “Hearing Damage”
4. Lykke Li – “Possibility”
5. The Killers – “A White Demon Love Song”
6. Anya Marina – “Satellite Heart”
7. Muse – “I Belong To You (New Moon)”
8. Bon Iver and St. Vincent – “Roslyn”
9. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – “Done All Wrong”
10. Hurricane Bells – “Monsters”
11. Sea Wolf – “The Violet Hour”
12. OK Go – “Shooting The Moon”
13. Grizzly Bear – “Slow Life”
14. Editors – “No Sound But The Wind”
15. Alexandre Desplat – “New Moon (The Meadow)”

I am not going to lie, there are a few lame moments in there. But on the whole, I really was pleasantly surprised (I’m not going to lie, I was expecting a shitstorm of Supermassive Black Hole and Paramore). I’m still waiting for them to find a decent costume designer who doesn’t make them all look middle aged (and/or some dialogue that doesn’t provoke sniggering).

-Sally

PS this made me giggle a little (from Rolling Stone)

These were all via crapwelike.

OMG

-Sally

She was amazing…

-Sally